While logging into my email today, I was struck by the story of singer Christina Aguilera’s separation from her husband. A celebrity break up is not particularly newsworthy – if anything, it’s the Hollywood relationships that last that should be covered!
What got my attention was the reason for the split. “They were very much in love,” explained an insider. “But over the last six months, it became clear they were more like friends than husband and wife.”
Now while passion fizzling out in a five year young marriage isn’t completely unheard of, I remember reading not too long ago about Aguilera’s secret ingredient to keeping her marriage spicy.
She called it “naked Sundays” and according to the article, every Sunday, she and her husband “just do everything in the house [naked], and we’re just cozy and laid back. We don’t need to go anywhere, we’re just with each other.”
Although Aguilera and her husband have a two year old boy, the naked Sundays apparently continued as recently as April of this year when Ms. Aguilera was quoted as saying, “I think it’s important that [Max] sees mommy not be ashamed for her sexuality. … We’re art collectors, there are a lot of female nudes around the house. Max will be growing up in a house where it’s just the norm…It’s only weird when you shame it,” she said, adding, “I’m more confident and comfortable in my own skin. I think I’m even a more sexual Christina.”
Although a child caught up in his parents’ separation is sad, what I find most upsetting about this story is how modesty is equated with shame and nudity is equated with passion.
Because we Orthodox Jews are a modest bunch, we’re generally viewed by society as sexually repressed. While there may be religions than view the flesh as sinful and strive towards life long celibacy, such thinking is completely antithetical to Jewish philosophy.
The restrictions we live by – dressing and behaving modestly around the opposite sex, reserving intimate touch for marriage only, having a husband and wife physically separate each month during the wife’s cycle – are put in place so that desire can build up for the times when sexuality is permitted.
While naked Sundays might seem exciting at first, the passion they create apparently is not sustainable. So why not try for modest Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays? There will, of course, be some time for immodesty for a married couple – we just won’t read about any of it online – the passion or the fizzle out.