Can We Ever Win Over Antisemites, Or Will They Always Hate Us?

Dear Jew in the City-

I know antisemitism is an age-old disease and there are Torah sources for this, such as Eisav soneh l’Yaakov (Esau hates Jacob). At the same time, I think we should still try our best to be exemplary people and explain our customs to those who are curious because they can seem weird from the outside and can be beautiful when explained. But I see some of my co-religionists just giving up. They say, “They’ll hate us anyway. Why bother trying to be better or explain what our customs are about?” So who is right? Can we win over some people who have negative feelings about us even if our sources say that we will always be hated?


Dear Ilana-

Thanks for your question. First let’s examine your source text.

You may recall that Yitzchak thought Eisav (Esau) was meant to be his successor but God told Rivka that it was really supposed to be Yaakov (Jacob). She contrived a plan to get Eisav out of the way for the day so that Yitzchak would bless Yaakov instead. When Yitzchak became aware of the ruse, he realized that Yaakov was in fact his true successor and he ratified the blessing. Nevertheless, Eisav felt that Yaakov had stolen the blessing from him so he swore to kill his brother. Yaakov ran away to stay with Lavan, with whom he lived for 20 years. Genesis 33:4 describes the reunion of Yaakov and his Eisav, saying “Eisav ran toward him and embraced him; he fell upon his neck and kissed him, and they wept.”

In the Torah, the word “vayishakehu” (he kissed him) has a series of small dots over its letters, which is a sign that the word holds deeper significance. Rashi on this verse cites a Midrashic difference of opinion as to Eisav’s sincerity in kissing Yaakov. One opinion is that of Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai, who says that Eisav hated Yaakov through and through but, at this particular moment, he was overcome with compassion and kissed his brother sincerely. The first part of Rabbi Shimon’s statement in Hebrew is “Halacha hi b’yadua she´Eisav soneh l’Yaakov.” But what does that even mean?

Halacha hi b’yadua” is an unusual phrase that occurs nowhere else in rabbinic literature. The popular understanding is that it means “It is a well-known law that Eisav hates Yaakov” but “law” in this context wouldn’t mean that non-Jews are commanded to hate Jews. Rather, it’s like the law of gravity. A better translation would be, “It’s an established fact that Eisav hates Yaakov.” But even that may not be quite accurate.

While the version cited by Rashi says “halacha” (it is a law), that may be a scribal error. Other manuscripts say, “halo.” This would be translated as, “Behold, it is well-known that Eisav hates Yaakov.” This is certainly less emphatic than calling it a universal constant!

But whether it says “halacha” or “halo,” to whom is it meant to refer? From context, it would appear to mean one thing: Eisav (the person) hates Yaakov (the person), no more and no less. Neither the Talmud nor the Midrash extends this concept any further. And while Rashi cites the Sifri, consider the version of the statement that appears in the Midrash Tanchuma (Shemos 27). There, discussing brothers generally, it notes that Eisav hated Yaakov but also that Cain hated Abel, Yishmael hated Yitzchak and Yoseif’s brothers hated him. (This is contrasted with Moshe and Aharon, who loved one another.) Sometimes a Yaakov and an Eisav is just a Yaakov and an Eisav.

The first person to extend the parameters of this dictum seems to be the Abarbanel (15th century), who expanded it to mean that the Romans and their inheritors (who are Esau’s heirs) hate the Jews (who are Yaakov’s heirs). This is a reasonable understanding of what Rabbi Shimon might have meant. Given that he lived under the Roman occupation, “Eisav” could easily be a code for “Rome.” And consider the Midrash cited by Rashi on Genesis 25:23 that the “two nations” (or, based on the Torah’s spelling, two great leaders) in Rivka’s womb refers to the Roman emperor Antoninus and Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi, the compiler of the Mishna (Avodah Zarah 11a).

The idea that this dictum applies to all non-Jews doesn’t appear to have taken hold until the 19th century. (I would be remiss if I neglected to acknowledge that Rav Moshe Feinstein ztz”l – my usual go-to among contemporary halachic authorities – did cite this source in this manner, in Iggros Moshe CM 2:77.)

So, we have the following possible understandings: (1) Behold, Eisav hates Yaakov; (2) it is a natural law that Eisav hates Yaakov; (3) it is a natural law that the Romans hate the Jews; and (4) it is a natural law that all non-Jews generally hate Jews. Only this last understanding requires addressing under the parameters of your question. (And even according to this worst-case understanding, nobody says that absolutely every non-Jew is an anti-Semite. Even in Nazi Germany, there were non-Jews who risked their lives to save Jews.)

So why do we have anti-Semitism? Religious philosophers over the centuries have proposed a number of reasons. The Netziv (19th century) said that anti-Semitism serves to remind Jews that we are eternally distinct from other nations and that God is ultimately the only One upon Whom we can rely. Rabbi Avigdor Miller (20th century) wrote that part of our test as Jews is always to be a minority surrounded by a hostile majority. He adds that our success as a people is not despite the oppression we have faced, it’s because we cling to God in the face of our adversities.

However you understand Eisav soneh l’Yaakov and whatever you consider the purpose served by anti-Semitism to be, the fact remains that God directed us to serve as a “light to the nations” (Isaiah 42:6, 49:6, 60:3, et al.). God has no reason to make us spin our wheels in vain. If He told us to do this, I am confident that He hasn’t given us a Sisyphean task that can never be accomplished.


Rabbi Jack Abramowitz
JITC Educational Correspondent

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  • Avatar photo Robert Rockawsay says on May 22, 2020

    Let’s keep it simple. Hatred of the Jew is caused by hatred of the Jew. Period. Whatever one hates or despises can always be pinned on the Jew: Too rich, too manipulative, too pushy, too aggressive, money hungry, lecherous,too loud, too crude, and on and on. The simple truth is: Jews are hated because they are Jews.

    • Avatar photo Juan Medina says on March 2, 2021

      Let’s keep it simple too. I did not see any bad qualities in your explanation, Those characteristic that your are mentioning here describe the human being. Ah you forget they are very supportive to the family and dedicate time to helping each other.

      • Avatar photo Rosalind F. Berman-Myerson says on October 14, 2023

        Thank you, Juan. There is an expression called Tikkun Olam. It means Helping to repair the world. When countries have tsunamis, earthquakes, hurricanes…..Israel has always sent their people to help others in crisis. It’s what we do.

    • Avatar photo David says on October 20, 2023

      I am not Jewish and I find it sad that people automatically hate someone or a group for simply being Jewish…. How sad that there’s so much hatred im any group just for being of that group ie ( black, jew, brown, etc ) hope someday humanity can simply embrace each other.

      • Avatar photo Ellie says on January 12, 2024

        I agree with David

  • Avatar photo Jesuyemi Timotheu Oloidi says on April 26, 2021

    I am an African, a Nigerian and a Christian who dearly love the Jews.
    Simply put, most people hate the Jews mainly because God loves them. If you study the Kitvei Hakodesh very well, you will understand that whosoever God loves, such person will be hated by the world. If God loves you, the world will hate you. God loves Israel and that is why the world hate the Jews.

    • Avatar photo Pagoz says on October 16, 2023

      I agree with you!

  • Avatar photo Jules Martino says on May 23, 2021

    I have never understood why there is hatred for Jewish people. I was raised in a suburb of Detroit, Michigan. We were never taught or told to hate anyone. Treat everyone as you wished to be treated and never dislike or hate someone because of who they are, what race, etc. never played a part with who my friends were over the years.

  • Avatar photo Rafael hernandez says on September 22, 2021

    I think it is a combination of religion, racism, culture and maybe envy as jews have thrived against all odds.

  • Avatar photo Pedro says on October 8, 2021

    Let’s keep is simple. Anti-semitism is just one of many faces of intolerance and oppression.
    Sadly, human beings are naked monkeys who can aspire to “angelic” virtues but also often sink down to the lowest levels of animality. And the animal is by nature territorialist and sectarian. Under some stressful circumstances, humans behave like rats that merciless attack other (slighlty different) rodents. The expanded, glorious human being can go beyond all that mud and find higher grounds. But this is rare, sadly. Often through History, jewish communities have provided strong contributions to that rare and necessary improvement of human nature: they have provided artists, intellectuals, trade, internationalism… And they have been prosecuted and harmed just by the fact that they were not exactly the same as other people in the places where they settled down. And they have been badly, and absolutely unfairly, harmed, and for centuries. And that harm, as modern epigenetics (at last!) prove, is [genetically] inherited, and has consequences (sadly) in the next generations. All the accumulated offence on jewish people has cristalized on a defensive attitude. For some, the question became: “them or us”. Which is quite sad, but to some point understandable. However, that attitude is a descent, not an ascent, in terms of the Spirit. The point, the question, in my opinion is not “for how long jews will be oppressed” but “for how long will be injustices and abuses played on human beings on the hands of another human beings”.

  • Avatar photo Henry Elias Ortiz says on November 4, 2021

    In researching the diverse racial lineages within the Spaniards that settled the Pecos Valley of New Mexico beginning in 1800 an interesting pattern emerged. Those who later opened country stores after the coming of the railroad in 1880 were Spanish speaking, with old-testament names. They had a penchant for merchandising and were very good at it. However, their better aptitude was a willingness to help out their neighbors by extending credit. Many who incurred debt sometimes sold off a small parcel of land (for more than the land was worth) to these storekeepers in order to satisfy accounts that had been delinquent for years. They did this of their own volition and not through any coaxing by the storekeepers. The storekeepers would have preferred at least partial payment for these debts which were mostly for groceries, hardware, and money borrowed. A cash flow was preferable in order to restock store shelves. I could bet that the old storekeepers in the valley were of partial Jewish lineage even if the language had been forgotten back in old Spain. Because many of these storekeepers, two who were a grandfather and a great grandfather, acquired small parcels of land through outstanding debts, many neighbors equated them with “leperous merchandisers”, and on several occasions I did hear a storekeeper being called a little Jew in Spanish. After reading through old store ledgers full of bad credit I would say that because of a merchandising tradition the Jews and those of partial Jewish lineage have been unjustly maligned simply because people tend to forget where they found help when they needed it, at least that’s what happened during the era of old country stores in the Upper Pecos Valley. To this day a few neighbors lament that heir ancestors lost a small parcel of land to “un tiendero lepero”, a cheating storeowner. My merchandising ancestors ran their stores while incurring heavy losses and died poor. Any kind of business can make many enemies even if it is fair or extra fair to its customers. Furthermore, a dishonest business, when it exists, is not limited to any one race.

  • Avatar photo JoAnn Kuan says on February 3, 2022

    There always been hate. It more noticeable today because of the media Hitler killed anyone that was not of the so called pure white race (German) He killed non whites in Germany of African decent Hatred is evil We see it throughout the world In American more hatred today forward none whites Personally I do not if a person is a Jew I just see skin color But a so called pure white racist know the different I just know if a person tell he is of the Jewish faith Which can be any race

  • Avatar photo Duilio Petrungaro says on February 4, 2022

    Esau is Edom, and that name Edom has been used mystically to refer to western Europeans, or the Roman empire in the Bible. There are harsh words of condemnation and even destruction of Edom in Scripture. I think Europeans know about it and that Jews will be used by God as an instrument for their punishment. That may be part of the reason of so much hatred

  • Avatar photo Sue Smith says on May 25, 2022

    I never used to dislike Jewish people. But I am being treated very badly by Jewish people in the condo I live in. The Board is all Jewish. They liked me until they found out I wasn’t Jewish (they made a big deal about it when they found this out, and kept saying it over and over: “Really, you’re not Jewish? We thought you were Jewish.” They then did a 180 in the way they treated me. They screwed me over every chance they got. They won’t abide by the laws and blatantly ignore my requests for services that they are supposed to be providing all of us. I have lost 10 years of my life fighting for normal building things to be fixed. This aggravation has been very harmful to my physical and financial health. I lost a lot of money and work time fighting these battles. A similar thing happened when I landed a part time job at a Jewish Center. Now, how am I supposed to feel? I was always nice to them. You tell me how I am supposed to feel.

    • Avatar photo Allison Josephs says on May 25, 2022

      Thanks for your question, Sue. Why don’t you view the people who hurt you as people who hurt you and view Jews who are not those people as new people. If a few women named Sue were mean or rude to me and then I just hated you because your name was Sue, that would be wrong.

    • Avatar photo Chris says on May 27, 2022

      I live in north Manchester and have never judged anybody by their religion or race but it was upsetting taking my son to a playground and watching Jewish children being taken away by their parents. My son has friends at school from Eastern Europe, Africa and Asian descent and he doesn’t see Religion or skin colour. I also nearly had a relationship with a Jewish woman after my marriage broke down but felt like the biggest barrier was religion itself.

      People are people and love is love.

      • Avatar photo Allison Josephs says on May 27, 2022

        Thanks for your comment, Chris. I’m sorry that this group seemed rude. It’s certainly uncomfortable that they behaved like that. Nearly 100% of the Hasidic population is Holocaust survivors or descendants of survivors. Many stayed in a closed system with little interaction with the larger world because their parents and grandparents told them that the larger world wants them dead. In part, they are correct. Then, people like you want to have a nice interaction. But they don’t know that. The ones who put up such barriers are still scared. Many Hasidic Jews do interact with outside people. You came across a group that’s still too scared to.

  • Avatar photo Larry R. Noone says on May 29, 2022

    I am not Jewish, but have never had hatred for them. The thing that caused me to scratch my head was, after I had gotten older and maybe wiser, the fact that they seem to own or control nearly everything. This was not relayed to me in school. In fact, that point was swept under the rug and not discussed.

    • Avatar photo Allison Josephs says on May 29, 2022

      Thanks for your comment, Larry. First of all, Jews do not own or control nearly everything. And to say we do is antisemitic. What is true is that we are a successful group of people. But it’s not due to any conspiracy. We value education and hard work and religious Jews believe we have a special job in this world to impart light. So having positions of power will allow us to take on that responsibility.

  • Avatar photo Nancy Cardenas says on June 13, 2022

    I just don ‘t understand such hatred. There is no room in this world for this kind of evil.

  • Avatar photo steve says on June 16, 2022

    jews may own much relative to their minority status, but obviously much more is owned by everyone else …some people are overachievers — not just jews, but all kinds of people


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