Jew in the City Is No Longer Breaking Down Stereotypes About Orthodox Jews
In 2007, I founded Jew in the City with the mission of breaking down stereotypes about religious Jews and offering a humorous, meaningful look into Orthodox Judaism. I was raised with numerous negative ideas about Orthodox Jews, but in my teens, when I actually started meeting them in real life, they were so different than what I had grown up believing.
I met kind people, educated people, open-minded people, individuals who were critical thinkers, but also enjoyed the world. People who were living lives of meaning and purpose. Not only that, these people hailed from a variety of Orthodox communities from modern to hasidic to Lubavitch to yeshivish to sephardic. I wondered why this information was never made available to me despite the stellar education I received. With social media in its infancy, I saw an opportunity to share this different perspective with the world, so that no one would have to base their opinions on stereotypes instead of facts.
Thank God, our content has reached over 2 million people in 183 countries since we began. We have pages and pages of messages we’ve received from people, who like me, based their negative perceptions on things they’d heard and read, but because of our content, were motivated to go out and see the positive impact Torah and mitzvos could have on their lives.
But much to my shock, we started hearing from people we never meant to attract (because frankly – I didn’t know they existed!), and our mission was broadened. These were people who were raised religious, yet had horrible experiences. The approach they saw on Jew in the City was just as groundbreaking for them as it was to our non-Orthodox readers. We saw people who grew up in unhealthy situations, where questions weren’t allowed, where control was chosen over kindness, where closed-mindedness and judgment were practiced instead of tolerance. Where hypocrisy was the norm. Where children were taught to be terrified of Hashem. Many of these people were abused and then their abuse was covered up. These are the people who approached me in 2014 and asked if we could help them find a more positive way to be religious. These are the people who inspired us to launch Makom. For quite some time, we have needed a mission statement which explains how our work with non-Orthodox Jews is related to our work with disenfranchised Orthodox Jews. We are finally ready to release it!
Having heard the stories of the members of Makom for the last few years I am very sorry to say that it would be intellectually dishonest for Jew in the City to continue to use the word “stereotypes.” Because our members’ experiences are not stereotypes, they are real. And they came about due to Orthodox Jews behaving badly. Veering away from how the Torah expects us to conduct ourselves is the very thing that causes chillul Hashem and negative associations. Of course the media focuses on the worst, often paints with a broad brush, and usually lacks nuance. But we are the ones who are feeding the media the content to report on in the first place.
Therefore, in our new mission statement, we are using “negative associations” instead of “stereotypes.” And we are explaining why our approach appeals to so many non-Orthodox and disenfranchised Orthodox Jews alike. The Orthodoxy we publicize exists in every Frum community and is based on kindness, tolerance, sincerity, and critical thinking. In addition, we are no longer here to just teach people this information. Our goal is also to help any Jew who wants to gain access to this way of life actualize it.
Our new mission statement is: Jew in the City reverses negative associations about religious Jews by highlighting an approach based on kindness, tolerance, sincerity, and critical thinking and makes engaging and meaningful Orthodox Judaism known and accessible.
This has been an exciting and unexpected journey for us in these last 11 years, and we could not have gotten here without you and your support. Please continue to help us grow by making donation, sharing our content, following us on social media (Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, YouTube), and subscribing to our e-newsletter. Thank you!
If you found this content meaningful and want to help further our mission through our Keter, Makom, and Tikun branches, please consider becoming a Change Maker today.
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A better response to your discovery of the horrors and traumas of Orthodox life would be to devote your blog to exposing those horrors and traumas, and giving voice to those who have been silenced for so long that you didn’t even know they existed.
What you’re doing here might make you feel good about the path you’ve chosen, but it does so by continuing to silence those who are silenced, ostracized, and made to feel so bad about themselves that they resort to suicide attempts in disproportionate numbers.
This blog post is not brave, strong, or honest, as previous commenters have said. It is cowardly, weak, and hiding from the truth.
Thanks for your comment, Dainy. I’m sorry for whatever you have gone through. I’m not sure how much you read this blog, but as I have learned more, we have written up more about the trauma that people have experienced in the Orthodox community. I have actually devoted a ton of time and effort to helping the people who have been spit out of the frum world through our work at Project Makom. We have 120 members in a year and a half and we are offering numerous services to improve their lives.
Our members say again and again this program has saved their lives, they have finally found family. We do events all over the frum community educating people about what our members have gone through. We are reporting on the problems in various ways. But there is still good news to share and frankly we want to make an example of what the frum world should all be striving towards. Happy, healthy lives where faith is something that gives a person strength and purpose – not something that destroys them. The abuse and negativity must end. But we also need to show what Judaism could be when it’s practiced correctly.
I disagree that that those are not stereotypes. Like all stereotypes, there will always be people in the group who fit the stereotype. That’s how stereotypes start, it is a a generalization and oversimplification of a group. Just because a small percentage fit the image that people may have, it’s still unfair to say that it is not stereotype.
Thanks for your comment, TM. So meeting the Project Makom members up close and hearing their stories has convinced me that this is more than “a few bad apples.” Some of these problems are pretty systematic in some communities. I still believe it’s a minority, but a sizable minority. Believe me – this is not a very happy thing to discover, but I believe it is the truth and now we have to fix it. Because our way of life is worth saving. But things will not get better until we face our challenges head on and work to change.
Sorry if i may be bursting bubbles (btw, all your efforts thus far are amazing!)… but i don’t know if it’s a simple matter at this point to reverse what has become largely a culture of carefreeness, especially when so many seem happy with the status quo and oblivious to the minority “others” in their midst.
It would require huge funding, and where will that come from? It seems the sectors which get the most funding these days are: Yeshiva’s, disabled youth, and the cancer-industry.
Just sayin’ it as i see it – the best hope is if Moshiach (supported by G-d’s Energy Field) commences the prophetized winnowing process.
Thanks for your comment. It’s not a simple matter and it won’t be inexpensive and the awareness is not yet where it needs to be. But that doesn’t mean we don’t try. We have to use our best efforts to make a dent. Lo alecha hamelacha ligmor.