Our Eldest Left Home This Week: Reflections On An Empty Nest

My eldest left for the Holy Land this week. She didn’t just go to learn for the year in seminary. She plans to make a life in the land of her forefathers. We do too, but she’ll get there first and be the most compelling reason we’ve ever had to get there sooner than later.

I was trying to find a Jewish source on a child leaving the home, but outside of marriage, it doesn’t seem to exist. I thought of the empty nest imagery commonly evoked and realized that the Torah may be the first place where this is discussed.

This is the week that so many young adults are going off to college and yeshiva for the first time. It is also the week where the Torah portion Ki Tzeitzei discusses parent child separation. In the commandment of shooing away the mother bird, shiluach hakan, while the offspring (the eggs) don’t leave of their own volition – nor will they likely ever be reunited again with their mother, the Torah commands us to not take eggs unless the mother bird is shooed away first, in order to spare her feelings. We are shown how painful parent/child separation is for a bird. How much more so for a human?

My daughter left of her own volition and God willing we will be reunited soon and without too much space in between visits. My daughter is departing with the wings we’ve help to strengthen and with the courage she has internalized from trusting in God.

The children of Israel were famously returned to the land of Israel “al kanfei Nesharim” – on the wings of eagles – in Biblical times. But the prophet Isiah, while discussing the future redemption, evokes them again. He explains that every person who places her hope in God will grow her own set of wings:

“But they who trust in God shall renew their strength as eagles grow new plumes: They shall run and not grow weary, they shall march will not grow faint.”

While bittersweet, our daughter is fulfilling the words of the ancient prophets, and what joy we feel to have merited to see this day. We couldn’t be prouder or more hopeful for the future.

May we and all of Israel join her in our land, with the coming of Moshiach speedily in our days.

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Allison Josephs

Allison Josephs is the founder and executive director of Jew in the City has been involved in the field of Jewish Outreach for over twenty years and is the Partner in Torah mentor to actress Mayim Bialik. She was named one of NJOP’s Top Ten Jewish Influencers and one of the Jewish Week’s 36 under 36. Allison has been quoted or written about in numerous publications, including The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, People Magazine, NYPost, Daily News, TMZ, The Daily Beast, and Hollywood Reporter. She has appeared on numerous television and radio networks including CBS, ABC, Fox5, TLC, Associate Press TV, and NPR; her articles have appeared in publications including The Washington Post, JTA, Jewish Week, Jerusalem Post, The Forward, and Kveller. Pearson Education, the largest textbook company in the world, produced a video segment on Allison’s life for the Judaism chapter of their textbook. She is a sought-after international lecturer whose corporate clients include Con-Edison and NYU Langone and hosts a weekly podcast on the Nachum Segal Network. She received her Bachelor of Arts from Columbia University in Philosophy and lives with her husband and four children minutes from the George Washington Bridge.