Growing up in Israel was frightening. I was not sheltered like some of my friends. When there was a shooting or explosion, I knew the details. I would overhear my mother sobbing on the phone with her sister. When she got off the phone, she asked me to come to her. She was wisely aware of something. “I need you to do something for me” she would say, “Pray that the injured should be healed and not die. Your prayers are special and powerful. They can heal people.”
I was in high school when a new form of terrorist attacks began. My fear reached another level.
A number of years after that, I was engaged. I opened the news and saw that there was a terror attack where my fiancé was supposed to be. I called him to see if he was okay. He told me he was at the site. I freaked out to which he responded “Oh, I shouldn’t have told you.” I responded that this was an important thing and I would want to know. I later asked him why he wasn’t afraid or panicked. He did not have an answer. He just wasn’t.
Seeing him so strong made me wonder. What does he have that I don’t? How can I attain it?
I went back to what my mother taught me. Reach out to God when you need help.
Little by little, month by month, year by year I expressed myself to God.
By the time October 7th came, I was grounded. I heard the four sirens, saw the rockets, and felt the ground shake. I was not afraid. I was acutely aware of God’s presence right near me. I did not panic. I went to find shelter while realizing I had no time. The designated time of hearing a siren to finding a safe place was not applicable. I did not panic.
The fear trickled in after that. I started spontaneously praying over 10 times a day. Sometimes a quick sentence “Protect us! We are desperate!” Other times, “I’m terrified.” I wrote a prayer letter by hand, which was easier than speaking words.
God wants a relationship with us. He wants us to connect with Him. He yearns for that. He is not some random guy in the sky. He is intimately close to us. He understands our feelings better than we do! Reaching out is for us. It heals us. It develops us. It’s transforming. “Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I won’t fear evil, for You are with me.”
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